It seems to be that the past year of my life has been spent living out of box. From selling to renting to owning again it has been a very long haul. But we have finally moved back in to our home and we are starting to live outside of the box. It has been almost a week since we moved in and Lance and I have taken time each day to really look inside each box we own and see what is worth keeping and what isn't. I never really believed that we had so much junk. I really shouldn't say junk because at one point in our lives it wasn't considered junk, but now it is. In the rental home we just moved from, half of our lives were still in boxes stacked up against a wall and seldom did we look for something we needed from them. With every move we de-junktify our lives by about half.
We have moved back into a smaller space so we have had to down size quite abit. I am happy to report that I can now park my car in our garage. Lance really worked hard to get it all cleaned up. Thanks Lance! We consigned a lot of our belongings to a guy Lance and his brothers discovered working this job that they do, and we also just put a lot in the garbage. It feels nice to have it all gone. We are not horders by any means, we just have collected a lot of things along the way and having children hasn't helped it at all either.
We are getting settled. Our boys are finding a lot of new friends in our neighborhood. We live at the dead end of a little L shaped subdivision and so I have no anxiety about them getting run over by a car. It is pretty safe and they are enjoying it, I think. They are having Chesley withdrawls though. The Chesley's are a our good friends whom we rented from. They were our next door neighbors and great friends. Now we live alittle further down the street so there is no more running next door to see if they can play.
I am finding myself more impatient because they are getting bored quite often. I am trying to find activites for them to do and it is making me really tired. It has made me emotional also. I am sure that the fact that I am pregnant hasn't helped it one bit but it has put more of an edge to it.
After Owen woke up from his nap today we decided to go to the library for the afternoon. After we were done we checked out and the lady behind the desk was pregnant too. She mentioned that it was her 6th child and that she was being induced on Tuesday. So she looked at me and said " You must not be too far behind me either right?" WRONG! I am due end of July early August. I didn't think I looked that big. It didn't help that I had a sweater and a heavy coat on too but come on? Really? I have been upset since then. I really shouldn't be but I let it get to me and that is what makes me mad about it. Oh well. I can't help it if my babies are close to 10 pounders. We will move on.
I am taking this class about Reflexology. It has been eye opening for me. One of my good friends from our ward is teaching it and I love what I am learning. The body is an amazing thing. We are working alot with the foot and the foot is the window to the body. There is a quote that hangs on the wall where I go that says "The foot never lies." Now I believe it. The other night we were learning the points and areas to work on with pregnant woman and there is a certain pressure point on the right foot just under the ankle bone where you can actually feel the baby's heart beat. So all the woman wanted to feel my baby's heart beat and sure enough, there is was. Truly amazing! So I have been using it on my boys when I see them having difficulties or when an illness is coming on. It can literally tell you what is going on in the body. Heavenly Father sure knew what he was doing. There are amazing "tools" that help us idenitfy our true feelings and the areas of the body that help us recognize those feelings.
For example. Last week I was the example Amber used. We were talking about Chakras {I will not go into detail about that} but I was laying on the floor and there were certain areas on my foot that told her I was having a hard time with the 3rd Chakra which is the throat. This deals with communication, feelings of not being heard and so forth. Well come to find out it was all true. Everything that she asked me if I was having a hard time with was true and I responded with a emotional and bold YES!!!! So now I know what I must work on. We are reading a book called "Feelings buried Alive never die" and it is a great book. I recommend it to anyone who is dealing with feelings that perhaps they thought had been buried but tend to resurface every now and then. I personally thought there were a lot of feelings and emotions that I had experienced buried in the grave never to be opened again but believe it or not they were never really fully resolved or put to rest. So now I must go back and bury those feelings so I can move on. They are not feelings that are tormenting or anything but bugging me. So I will work on them slowly each day and I feel like I can really move on and progress. There are so many things that hold us back and I just want to move forward with life and wake up happy.
Don't get me wrong. You are probably thinking I am one depressed mom. I am quite the opposite. I just have personal things I have to lay to rest.
I want to find a passion in life. I love my family very much but there has got to be something out there that I feel passionate about. So that is what I am going to work on finding. It might be expensive, it might not be, but I want to find it. I have to find it.
I am going to make the effort to step outside my box and find me. I am ready for the journey. I just hope my family will be able to handle me. I ask for your forgivness before I even begin. Here we go!
