random thoughts

I lay awake in bed each night wondering what I can do to be better the next day. Could I be happier? Would I be more energized? Could I love my children anymore than I possibly do? What am I going to do to keep my kids entertained,etc....
This is pretty much how I spend each night. Lately I have been feeling sluggish. I am not sure if it is what I am eating or if I am just getting around and moving much. I was pretty sure I was being active taking care of 3 children, I don't know. I am been trying to get out to walk at least for 40 minutes each day. Usually it is in the evening when Lance is home and I can try to get a girl friend to walk with me. We are going to start this. I hope it works. I am starting to feel all the extra weight from my previous 3 pregnancies. Mind you, I have had 4 babies and I have never gotten back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. That is my main goal these next couple of months. I want to feel skinny again. I want to feel young again and I want to feel attractive again. Don't you ever find yourself just hanging around the house in lazy clothes and therefore that is the attitude that is carried on throughout the day? That is me, I am guilty of just that. I want to feel like I have gotten ready for the day. I want to find a reason to dress up. I used to do that with my first but then I got thrown up on and pooped on by babies and it ruined my clothes so since then I have given up.
Don't think I am drepressed or anything. These are just my honest feelings and for some reason I am feeling better just getting it all out. I am really happy most of the time. I have 3 beautiful children who just make me smile. Owen is starting to respond to my talking. It is so much fun to watch Keaton and Andrew talk to him. They are in love with him as much as I am.
So here is to better days. I am going to make the goal to do better. I will reach my goals even if it kills me.
Here are some random pictures from this past week. We love you all!