Snyder

Christmas past.

Do you remember as a child all the anticipation of what Santa would bring for you?  Do you remember how anxious you felt as the days got closer and closer?  I DO.  I remember as a child writing the list to Santa, telling him all the things I wanted.  I remember praying and trying to be extra good so that Santa would see the great lengths I went to prove I was good.  Being good just for that one month.  It was almost like the other 11 months didn't matter.  Only the month of December did.

I remember all the fun Christmas parties, movies and food that came with it.  All the pretty decorations, the trees and lights.  Growing up we never had a fireplace and each and every year my mother faithfully made an artifical fireplace to which she hung our stockings from, because after all, stockings were meant to be hung from the fireplace with care.

I remember setting out the cookies and milk for Santa. Because afterall, I was taught from a very young age that is what He liked best. 

I remember going to bed at night just dreaming about presents and wishing that the night would past fast so we could wake up to a feast of presents that were so neatly wrapped.

I remember going to my grandma's house for dinners, getting more presents and eating more candy.

Christmas in Chile.

It's been almost 11 years since I experienced my first Christmas away from home.  My first Christmas in humble circumstances. My first Christmas where I really relied on those I loved most.  It wasn't what I got for Christmas, but who I was with and what it meant to me at the time.

I remember one Christmas in particular.  I was celebrating my second Christmas in Chile.  I was used to the living conditions. In fact, I felt like I had adapted myself quite well.  Life was happy.  Life was simple and there were no worries.  I was a missioary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I was in Ochagavia, Chile.  I had only about 3 months left on my mission.  That Christmas we were invited by our Mission President to find someone in our area that needed love.  Someone we could reach out, give food to, sing carols with and someone that needed to feel the Christmas spirit.

Well there was a man in our area that was pretty much homeless.  Now that is not common because most of the Chileans are close to homeless or live pretty close to the life style. This certain man, lived in the corner of an old alley.  He was lonely. A sad life he lived.  It was just him, a dog, a wagon and a filthy dirty mattress in the corner covered with some of his belongings. Trying to cover what was his only true possesion, hiding it so that no one could take it.

As missionaries in our zone we agreed that this man needed love.  He needed to feel that the Savior was there and that He loved him.  So we {about 7 of us} walked up to him on Christmas Eve and presented a box full of food, simple hygenine products and a Book of Mormon.  He was completely taken by surprise.  He didn't fathom that someone would or could do that for him. At first he rejected it, then he welcomed it with open arms.  I saw at that moment something in his face. Something in his countance changed.  He went from sadness to hopefulness.  I had never before experienced something like that. It is really hard for me to explain because words don't do this story justice.  Those of us who were there that day only know what I am talking about.  It's amazing that I can still close my eyes and see his face.

He was drunk.  His eyes were glazed.  I don't know what his story was, I only know that at the time, he didn't have much to live for.  Every time we noticed him on the street he was sad.  Really sad. 

I didn't receive a package from my family that Christmas.  My mom sent it on time.  I didn't get it on time. In fact I got it the week before I went home. Another story for another day. I talked with my family. Said my hello's and wished them a Merry Christmas and then we were on our merry way to celebrate with other loved ones.

Celebrating a holiday such as Christmas in a humble country is an experience.  I sometimes wish that I could go back.  Back to simple conditions.  Where it wasn't who got what and how much someone spent, because well, Christmas isn't spent like that. Instead we read from the scriptures of the Savior's birth. At traditional foods, sang songs and went caroling.  I think that the first time I truely felt the true meaning of Christmas.  I knew then, like I know now that Christ was born into humble circumstances. He was the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Savior of the world. Sent to redeem mankind.

Sent into the world to love and serve those who would crucify Him.

I take comfort knowing that He died for me.  He died for all of us.

I hope that we can reflect on Him this season and not dwell so much on the worldly scene. Although it is beautiful and it is fun, the true meaning comes from the heart and the way it can change us.

I will forever be grateful for my experience that Christmas in Chile. It forever changed my life.

Christmas now.

I have 4 small children.  I am a busy mom.  I feel tired most of the time and I am always wondering if it is bedtime yet.  I know that is horrible for me to admit but I am being honest.

3 of my children are wild boys.  Boys that keep me on my toes almost 24/7.  They have all written their long lists to Santa explaining all the 100 things they would like on their list.  I am trying to teach them, but so far their little minds are focused on getting.  It is only human to feel that way.  I will admit I get caught up in the " I want" attitude.  That is when I catch myself and then I take a step back and put myself back together.

The tree is up.  There are a few presents under the tree.  We have done the shopping, sang lots of Christmas songs and watched a ton of Christmas movies.  The sweets come out each night. I feel cavaties coming on.

I have been spending more time this month reading of the Savior's birth in the scriptures.  I feel His love for me. I feel His love for my little family.  I know that He is aware of our circumstances, and because I know that and feel it, I know that all will be okay. 

A tradition we have in our family has been picking a family we know to do that 12 days of Christmas to.  Lance and I started it when we got married.  I grew up doing it with my family. Each year we would pick a family and it was one of the best things about Christmas. The door bell ditching, leaving gifts on their doorsteps, running for your life and hiding, waiting and watching them answer the door. There were a few times we almost got caught but each and every year we continue to do it. Our boys love it! They love the service and most of all the thrill that comes along with it.

I have loved and lost.  I have felt love and also grief.  I know that the Lord gives us these emotions to help us when times are hard.  I believe in miracles.  I believe in angels.  We have one hanging on our tree to remind us of our eternal goal ~ Madalynn. I know that she was His long before she was mine, and that doesn't help the pain sometimes but the fact that life after death is real and that she will be ours, is what helps me put things into perspective.  She is out there.  She is here. I have felt her spirit at times and it almost scares me.  Am I doing what I should be doing? How am I treating my other children? Am I where I need to be.  She makes me want to be better. Stronger. 

So to my children, Merry Christmas! May the Lord instill in your hearts the true meaning.

Christmas future.

I hope that as my children grow older I can instill in them a love for Christ.  What He did. What He does, and what He will do for them if we will turn our lives over to Him.  Let Him lead and guide us. I hope and pray that I can teach that to my children.  Right now, it is about presents. It is about who gets what. That is okay. They are little. But I also know that they feel Him near this time of year. As we choose families for our secret Santa, giving them the opportunity to serve others is something you can't just give them.  They have to live it.  To know it and to feel it.

Merry Christmas to all of you! I am so thankful for each and everyone of you.  You have uplifted me, strengthened me, help me to be who I am today. I owe it to so many of you. I can't afford much.  All I can do is express my gratitude for the things you have done for me and my family.  We are forever in debt.

May the Lord fill our hearts with peace and love is my wish this year.

We love you! I love you!