September 9, 2012

Is it Sunday again?

I don't know about you but I am not too fond of Sundays.  They used to be my most favorite, most relaxing and most uplifting day of the week.  For the past year or two I have really struggled with this.  Seems even more now so since Lance was put into the bishopric. It is just me, myself and I up against 4 kids alone on one tiny pew. Most Sundays are crazy and I end up in the hallway with all my kids trailing behind me. Some Sundays it is Owen pulling and punching Ellie to the point where she is screaming and then I have to grab Owen's arm and pull the both of them out, leaving Keaton and Andrew by themselves to do who knows what. I only cross my fingers that they will sit still and not fight. Sundays are not so fun. Not that Sundays are suppose to be fun but they are no walk in the park either. It seems like no matter how much I have planned for each Sunday with ideas, new quite books and new things for them to read and activities to do, it never really works. At least for them. Our friends in front and in back of us seem to love my ideas but my kids? No way.
  I know I go because I am suppose to. It is where I want to be. It is something so important to me that I want my children to understand the importance of Sunday, but I am just not feeling it right now.
Lance came up to me and said "First Sunday that you have not had to take a child out of sacrament." Ya, but we were loud, rowdy and kind of annoying to those sitting around us.  Ever since I can remember, there has always been that family in sacrament that has loud, irreverant children, that just make you want to go insane.  Well sad to admit, I am raising one of those families.  How did this happen?  Well it happpened and I am tryign so hard to make it better.  Today the kids did better, yes, but we still have a LONG way to go.  I don't remember what was said in sacrament. I don't remember what was said in sacrament last week or perhaps the week before that, but I am trying to feel. Feel something that will help me with this inner struggle I have.  All the moms who have children all grown up and pay attention in sacrament just look at me and tell me, don't wish it away too fast. There will be days when you will miss it.  I always hear that. I am not sure I will miss it.  Yes, there are a lot of days we have had that I miss already but Sundays, not so much. At least that is my course of thinking right now.
All during Sunday school and Relief society, it took everything I had to try and stay awake. I was and still am so exhausted. I constantly feel tired.  I am getting enough rest, working out every day and eating really well. What is it? I don't know but it is making me grumpy. Ask my husband, ask my children. I am grumpy. 
I am not a grumpy person either. I used to be happy, spunky and just full of energy. Probably just my stage of life right now. Man I need a vacation.
So that is what Lance and I are doing this week.  We are going to Salt Lake on Thursday and coming back on Saturday night.  doTERRA is having their annual conference and this is our first year.  I am super excited to learn as much as I can. Not only about what it can do for me and my children but about buisness as well.  The Lord is starting to bless us from our hard efforts.  I want to take it an extra mile and see where it will go from there.  Super excited to go and have no kids.  Sad to say but I am ready to have a break. The last time I took a break without no kids was almost two years ago when Lance and I went down to Utah for BYU's homecoming weekend. So it is time.
This week I need to wean Ellie from nursing. We are getting there slowly.  I will miss that and I will enjoy the seperation all at the same time. She has been so sweet but I won't miss the bitting.
Life is busy.  Really busy.  I feel like I live in a car.  My day usually starts at 5:50 a.m. I rush out the door to the church where I started teaching workouts to the woman who like to come. We have been getting a great group of gals that have been coming faithfully each and every morning.  It feels so good to be done by 7 and go home to a house that is still sleeping. Nice to have that behind me.  Some days I will stay in my workouts and then go running later in the morning if Lance is home to watch the kids. Did I mention that I am running a half marathon in October. Ya, crazy, because I used to hate running. Now I LOVE it! It has become therapeutic for me. It really has.
Kids are coming and going to school throughout the day. Then we have to pick up kids at bus stops, get to scouts on time, have soccer practice, eat dinner and then it's time for mutual and bed.  Our afternoons are somewhat crazy in our home. But I love routine and we are thriving on that. Just need to figure out how to do it gracefully. Is there such a thing as that?

This weekend Lance and I managed to have a date night two nights in a row.  Well I wouldn't actually call them date nights because they were both birthday parties for some friends of ours. But the big thing was me finding a babysitter for my kids. Anyone who knows me well knows I don't just call up random Young Women from our ward and ask them to babysit. I usually call my mom to do it. I trust her. She knows how to do things around her and she can put my kids to bed.  Well this week I decided not to do that anymore. I need to just let go and trust others with my kids. I am happy to report that we found two fantastic babysitters that will be forever on our list to call. Not only did the kids love them but the girls that watched my kids loved them too. I felt so relieved about that. I had to secretively pat myself on the back for that.

I just finished the book  These is my Words the diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, 1881-1901 by Nancy E. Turner. It was an excellent book. I would read it again but I have to return it to the library. I highly reccomend it. I LOVED it!

Since it is Sunday I am not sure where I found time to sit down and jot all of this down, but my house is kinda quiet. Ellie is asleep and all my boys are playing quietly in their rooms. It is nice to hear myself think.

2 comments:

The Kynastons said...

Melissa, I can relate to SO MANY parts of this post. Seriously. Sundays have become a dreaded day, which is so sad. But they are exhausting. Just this last Sunday I was saying to Patrick that Sunday is NOT a day of rest. I am also getting ready to wean Ivy and can't wait to have more "freedom." And I also have been SO DANG TIRED all the time, and grouchy. Being a mom is hard! And I only have two kids! Anyway, I'm glad you get to have a little getaway with your husband. I hope you have fun and get some much needed rest!

Melissa Snyder said...

Thanks Guns. It's just a really busy stage in life. Good luck weining Ivy. Tell Pat hi. One ra Sundays will become a day of rest.