February 7, 2010

Where would you go?

Church was alittle crazy today. Our ward is from 10:30 - 1:30 p.m.. It runs right in the middle of Owen's morning nap. He will usually go down pretty easy if I can sneak into the mother's lounge to feed him and rock him. But today he fought me bad, but he finally gave in and finally fell asleep only to be awoken 35 minutes later, not good. Made for a really cranky boy. It was hard to sit in Relief Society so most of the 3rd hour we spent roaming the halls trying to keep him occupied. I was able to sit in on the last 25 minutes of Relief Society. I couldn't really tell you what lesson they were presenting or what the topic was but when I came in there were quite a few woman talking about loved ones lost or hard/ good times that they had in their lifetimes. The teacher presented this question : "Where would you go?" If you could go back to one time in your life that you felt happy, inspired, loved, frustrated, or whatever, where would you go? I was kind of confused by the question, so she put it much simpler this time. "If you could relive any moment from the past, what would it be, when you felt one of these emotions that meant something to you. Mabye an ah ha moment, a moment where you were on cloud 9 or some even that jsut really stuck out?" How did you feel?
So it got me thinking today.  There have been many moments in my life that I wouldn't mind re-living and there are many, many that I wouldn't want to revisit ever.
Where would I go? That is the question. Would I go back to those good old college days, where I felt carefree, giddy and where the world revolved, or so it seemed around me? Would I go back to the day when I  realized my purpose in life? Or how about sitting in a cold chair, in a chapel in Chile, during an interview with someone in La Granja, feeling like my companionship was just the most frustrating thing in the world, wanting to quit and then realizing it wasn't about that at all. It was this individual that helped me realize that I could do it! This missionary made me want to work harder then I ever had before and because of that interview, my mission changed. It changed me as a missionary, and me a person. To that person, if you are ever reading this thank you! Or would it be the time when I met Lance for the first time? Endless nights staying up until 1-2 in the morning talking about whatever? Or how about the day I was married? Or how about the day when my first baby was born and 58 minutes later losing the one thing I  wanted more than anything? Would it be the day I buried  her in that hot Arizona sun? Pink sunsets in the cemetary, crying and wondering "Why me?" Or would it be hearing my three boys cry after each one was born, knowing that they weren't going anywhere and you would be leaving the hospital with them? I can't tell you! There are too many one moments I could pick.
I have had a good life! In fact, I have had a  GREAT life! I owe it to so many people.
Each experience has brought with it different emotions and feelings that I can still close my eyes or see a picture and remember it all.
I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me. For my boys and for us as a familiy. Even though we might be as poor as church mice, we have each other and we have the church. What more will matter in the end? Together we have it all!
So my question to you is - Where would you go if you could relive one moment from the past? What would you remember the most? What emotions and feelings do remember?

2 comments:

laneyfamily said...

I enjoyed reading this post!

Shelli Snyder said...

Loved it, Mel. I'd go to my junior year of college. But only for a minute. Then I'd want to come right back. :)