In the moment

Yesterday we had our appointment with the Pediatric Urologist.  Couldn't believe we had to wait over an hour to be seen for only 15 minutes.  Come to find out all looks good. The doctor said that everything was "mild" which pretty much means good.  There is nothing that needs to be done besides monitoring her every 3-6 months with ultrasounds to see how her left kidney is doing.  So good news! Bad news, is that we can't use that as our excuse as to why she cries and fusses.  Maybe it is the fact that we have been extremely blessed with a fussy little girl.  She is probably  just giving us a sneek peek at what life is going to be like with a girl in our home. Getting ready to brase myself.  This could get ugly :)!
I have been going through the motion right now of extreme emotions.  I feel tired pretty much 24/7 and most of my days are spent just trying to get Ellie to sleep and stay asleep.  And then when she is finally asleep, it is keeping Owen away from her.  He really likes to sneek in and pinch her or wake her up.  When I am washing dishes, folding laundry or cleaning the house and then I hear this blood curdling cry, I run for the room only to see it open and that is when I will find Owen in bed with her or trying to pull her out of her swing.  Oh my goodness!!! Life with 4 children is really tiring.  How did you guys do it?
So this is what I know.....

 Look at what exists in your life right now.  Look at the events that had to be

 orchestrated to get you to exactly where you are, doing exactly what you

 are doing, with exactly who you are with, learning exactly what you

 are learning and experiencing exactly what you are experiencing.

Look at all of this and know that it was meant just for you.

If it feels like you are in a place, that you would rather not

be at this time, just know that you are in the middle... on the

way from here to there... that you will get through it... that it

will last exactly as long as it is supposed to last, and teach you

exactly what you are meant to learn. And later, you will see how

this time was one of your very greatest teachers.

If you are in a place that feels miraculous and wonderful..

full of beauty and peace.. be sure to marvel in it. Breathe it in, know that

everything brought you to now... that there's always a reason that will

take your breathe away.

Everything matters. Every decision matters, every experience matters,

every relationship matters, every interaction matters, every lesson matters,

Every piece creates a whole that is the life you are living at this moment.

What a miracle.