March 7, 2015

The blessing

Last Tuesday Lance and I went in to renew our temple recommends. After we had our interviews and visited with great friends we hadn't seen in awhile President Firmage our Stake President calls Lance and I into his office. Now let me just tell you about this man. We have known him for many years. A great family friend, previous bishop and just an outstanding guy. We sat down in his office and chatted for awhile about some things I had questions about. I asked him "Do you really think Heavenly Father maps out who is going to get what aliment or who is going to pass away leaving 5 children behind. Or does he just allow life to happen and he tests us to see what we do with whats been dealt to us?" I have struggles with this for some time now.
Lance had an aunt who passed away a few years ago from this very same thing we are dealing with here. Breast Cancer. Diagnosed and gone all within 6 weeks. Very sad story leaving behind a great husband who loved and adored her and 9 beautiful small children. I wanted to know if Heavenly Father really needed her more on the other side then here on earth taking care and raising her family. What could be more important on the other side than what we have both been called to do, be a mother?
We had a pretty in depth conversation about that that helped me to understand a little better. Before we left he asked if he could give me a blessing. Of course those are always welcome. He placed his hands on my head and in a very bold and clear voice he told me that Heavenly Father loved me. He was aware of everything going on and that in the name of Jesus Christ he told me my cancer would be eradicated from my body. I would live a long healthy life. I would live to see my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He told me that when the time came to chose a treatment that the spirit will tell us loud and clear which path to choose. Through constant prayer we would be guided to know which treatment to use and if any treatment at all. I was loved! He knew what I was going through and I was also told that the Lord is pleased with my life. I was also told that this would be a turning point for my children as a turning experience for their testimonies. The blessing was over. I got up and tears were coming down the President's cheeks as well as mine. He was confident that the Lord was talking in that blessing. I was confident too!!!
So even though all we have received is bad news. Somewhere, some time in and in some way some good news will come. Until then we just pray that no matter what happens, we are going to make it through. We cling to that. That night after the blessing I was encouraged to go home and write it all down. So I constantly go back and read those notes from the blessing.
So another day as passed and I am exhausted. Not sure where this is all going to lead. I am nervous. I am optimistic. I am hopeful. I am tired.
Tomorrow will bring on a new day and we will carry on our activities as if nothing still hasn't happened. I will hold on to these days because there are but a few left like today. Cancer is the new normal in our family. Cancer has come to stay for awhile but it may not stay permanently.

3 comments:

stephanie said...

Wow, what an amazing blessing-no worries

michelle said...

I'm so glad President Firmage saw you there and was able to take that time with you that you needed. Blessings are indeed just that, blessings!!! What a great post this is. Thanks for sharing and for your example.

Heather said...

Melissa, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this and with the questions... I have also trodden this path this year and though not cancer, severe disability prognosis. I too have asked these questions about my role as mother, and the path Heavenly Father wants for each of us- from not expecting to be healed too soon and miss the journey to being full of expectation that healing is his will right now!... It is up and down and all around. I have also started blogging about it.
You will and probably already have received intense pressure to do both medicinal and holistic healing. Everything the world has to say conflicts with itself. Only an answer from the lord will suffice. I have looked into everything- it all claims to heal and it all contradicts itself. I finally found peace in my quest for treatment when I sought a blessing having studied out in my mind and then accepted any of the options. I told the lord I was willing to do any of them and that is when he guided me specifically. There are many in the holistic community that are offended by my medicinal choice and think I am stupid- but I know there can be good amazing things from both and am grateful the lord told me what to do in my personal care. I recently read a talk by elder perry published in the new era that reminded me of the great power priesthood blessings carry- you might like it. "Priesthood blessings".
I hope you feel the strength of all the faith and prayers behind you and peace in the quiet moments. Elder Bednar teaches us about the load. How the load is what gives us spiritual traction and I can testify that that has been the greatest blessing of all through my struggle. Good luck. You are full of faith and yes, everything is going to be fine:)